Pregnancy can be an exciting time. However, it can also be a time of increased anxiety and fears around the uncertainty of the future. This anxiety can often take away much of the enjoyment of pregnancy. From worrying about the babies health, adjusting to new dynamics between yourself and your partner and thinking about the impact that having a child will have on your career; Pregnancy brings about a lot of potential stressors. Combine these with the physiological hormone changes and it is easy to understand why anxiety often occurs during this unique time.

I believe therapy should be a space for women to process and adjust to these changes as they become mothers.  Also, I use Cognitive Behavioural techniques to teach my clients to manage anxiety and improve their overall wellbeing. I have compiled 7 strategies to help you manage anxiety during pregnancy.

2. Find acceptance

Anxiety is uncomfortable but it will not harm us.  When we try to remove anxiety it often leads us to feel worse.  Practice accepting anxiety as part of your current experience; notice it, but don’t label it as bad.  The more we come to terms with this uncomfortable feeling and stop using all of our energy to fight this experience, the more power is taken away from the feeling and the better you will feel.

3. Challenge negative thinking

If left unchecked, negative thinking can run wild and take our minds to all sorts of places that we don’t want to be.  Firstly, we need to identify what the thought is that is causing you anxiety.  Then, experiment with some different challenging techniques.  Depending on what the thought is, try asking yourself “if a friend came to me with this problem, what would I think about their situation?” or ”what advice would my best friend give to me about this?” When catastrophising, another helpful strategy might be to consider all of the other possibilities than the one that you are fearing is going to happen.  By identifying these, it can support you to consider how small the eventuality of your feared outcome is likely to be.

4.  Face your fears

This is possibly the most powerful way to improve our anxiety.  If there is something that is making us anxious, then do it!  Avoidance can relieve short term discomfort.  However, in the longer term, this can dwindle our confidence and result in us being less independent.  So let’s take an example of  going to attend an antenatal class for the first time which involves meeting other new mums.  It would be easy to not go, and this would relieve your short term discomfort of having to make the effort with new people.  However, if you do attend then you have the possibility of meeting new mums and building a support network in the long term. Whilst attending, your anxiety may spike initially, but this will eventually decrease. By conquering these challenges that you set yourself you will inevitably experience an increase in confidence.

6. Get support

This transition into motherhood is not meant to be undertaken alone. Having supportive relationships has been shown to have the biggest impact on helping new mothers avoid Postnatal Depression.  This can be harder when living away from families or friends. However, it is worth investing in finding support.  Establish people who can provide emotional support and who can provide practical support.  Emotional support could be received via online support groups, regular video calls with friends, local antenatal classes or 1 of the many apps aimed at connecting people in a friendship capacity (Meet Up, Bumble BFF or Peanut).  Practical support could involve enlisting the support of family or friends. Or this could involve employing someone to help you clean.  Alternatively, you may be able to delegate some of your tasks at work.  Remember, despite what the patriarchy may have you believe, women are allowed to take it easier during pregnancy and this means that you may need extra support.

7. Be kind to yourself

It is ok to feel vulnerable.  You are creating a life inside you.  Give yourself compassion.  It is ok to cry.  It is ok to feel all the feelings.  Let go of all the “shoulds” - how you should be feeling during your pregnancy.  Allow this experience to be mixed; the anxiety and the excitement can co-exist.  You can have times that you struggle, whilst also making a wonderful mother.