7 tips to manage anxiety during pregnancy
Pregnancy can be an exciting time. However, it can also be a time of increased anxiety and fears around the uncertainty of the future. This anxiety can often take away much of the enjoyment of pregnancy. From worrying about the babies health, adjusting to new dynamics between yourself and your partner and thinking about the impact that having a child will have on your career; Pregnancy brings about a lot of potential stressors. Combine these with the physiological hormone changes and it is easy to understand why anxiety often occurs during this unique time.
I believe therapy should be a space for women to process and adjust to these changes as they become mothers. Also, I use Cognitive Behavioural techniques to teach my clients to manage anxiety and improve their overall wellbeing. I have compiled 7 strategies to help you manage anxiety during pregnancy.
1. Relaxation
Anxiety shifts our body into a place of tension and stress which is why we experience physical symptoms such as increased heart rate or breathing quickly. It is important to learn to regulate our nervous system. This will provide physical benefits for you and your baby. When we are anxious, we often tend to breathe from our chests. We should aim instead to create deep breathes from our stomachs. Try placing 1 hand on your chest and 1 hand on your belly. When you breathe in, the aim is to feel the hand on your belly raise rather than the hand on your chest. Try breathing in for a count of 4, and then out for a count of 8. Repeat this 10 times. There are many different breathing options for relaxation, but I like to practice this as it can be used to support you during labour contractions. In addition to breathing techniques, aim to build in activities that you find relaxing. This might include yoga, swimming, walking in nature or speaking with a friend.
2. Find acceptance
Anxiety is uncomfortable but it will not harm us. When we try to remove anxiety it often leads us to feel worse. Practice accepting anxiety as part of your current experience; notice it, but don’t label it as bad. The more we come to terms with this uncomfortable feeling and stop using all of our energy to fight this experience, the more power is taken away from the feeling and the better you will feel.
3. Challenge negative thinking
If left unchecked, negative thinking can run wild and take our minds to all sorts of places that we don’t want to be. Firstly, we need to identify what the thought is that is causing you anxiety. Then, experiment with some different challenging techniques. Depending on what the thought is, try asking yourself “if a friend came to me with this problem, what would I think about their situation?” or ”what advice would my best friend give to me about this?” When catastrophising, another helpful strategy might be to consider all of the other possibilities than the one that you are fearing is going to happen. By identifying these, it can support you to consider how small the eventuality of your feared outcome is likely to be.
4. Face your fears
This is possibly the most powerful way to improve our anxiety. If there is something that is making us anxious, then do it! Avoidance can relieve short term discomfort. However, in the longer term, this can dwindle our confidence and result in us being less independent. So let’s take an example of going to attend an antenatal class for the first time which involves meeting other new mums. It would be easy to not go, and this would relieve your short term discomfort of having to make the effort with new people. However, if you do attend then you have the possibility of meeting new mums and building a support network in the long term. Whilst attending, your anxiety may spike initially, but this will eventually decrease. By conquering these challenges that you set yourself you will inevitably experience an increase in confidence.
5. Communicate effectively
As women, we have often been conditioned to want to please others at the sake of ourselves (otherwise known as people-pleasing). Now is the time to ask yourself what support you need and to ask for this assertively. Start statements with I feel, … and be specific about what you want. For example, imagine you’re tired and feeling sick and you feel annoyed at your partner for not helping out enough. Rather than a) not saying anything and trying to do everything yourself. Or b) saying “I’m fed up of you not helping out around the house”. Try a statement similar to “I’m feeling exhausted as I have been feeling sick all day. Please could you make the dinner for us tonight?” Assertive communication is a skill, and like any skill, this will take time to practice.
6. Get support
This transition into motherhood is not meant to be undertaken alone. Having supportive relationships has been shown to have the biggest impact on helping new mothers avoid Postnatal Depression. This can be harder when living away from families or friends. However, it is worth investing in finding support. Establish people who can provide emotional support and who can provide practical support. Emotional support could be received via online support groups, regular video calls with friends, local antenatal classes or 1 of the many apps aimed at connecting people in a friendship capacity (Meet Up, Bumble BFF or Peanut). Practical support could involve enlisting the support of family or friends. Or this could involve employing someone to help you clean. Alternatively, you may be able to delegate some of your tasks at work. Remember, despite what the patriarchy may have you believe, women are allowed to take it easier during pregnancy and this means that you may need extra support.
7. Be kind to yourself
It is ok to feel vulnerable. You are creating a life inside you. Give yourself compassion. It is ok to cry. It is ok to feel all the feelings. Let go of all the “shoulds” - how you should be feeling during your pregnancy. Allow this experience to be mixed; the anxiety and the excitement can co-exist. You can have times that you struggle, whilst also making a wonderful mother.