10 tips to manage big emotions during pregnancy
Pregnancy can be hard. Emotions are all over the place, and it is no wonder that you may experience periods of intense anxiety, panic, anger or low mood. All of these emotions are valid. However, if you are struggling, use these ten tips to help yourself manage these big emotions.
Show yourself compassion
You are going through so much. Your body is going through so much. You are changing so much as a person. You are creating a human being! It is normal and expected to experience huge emotions whilst experiencing so much adjustment. Give yourself the kindness and respect that you deserve. Talk to yourself in the same way that you would talk to someone you love and care for.
2. Breathe to regulate your nervous system
When stressed, your nervous system is likely to move into fight or flight mode. Instead, it is helpful to practice relaxing your nervous system to calm your body. When anxious, your breathing may become shallow, and you are more likely to breathe from your chest. Try to replace this with deep breaths from your stomach. Try breathing in for a count of four and then out for a count of eight. Repeat this ten times. You can use this technique at any time to help you feel more in control of your body.
3. Use an emotional thermometer
A strategy that can help is measuring your mood on an emotional thermometer. Try creating a scale of 1-10. One means 'feeling calm and relaxed'. Ten means' feeling completely overwhelmed. Regularly check in with yourself through the day at what number you are feeling. Then, ask yourself what you need to bring yourself back down to a more relaxed state. For example, if I check in with myself, I notice that I am at a five as I feel hot, flustered, and have some racing thoughts. I then ask myself, "what do I need right now to bring myself back down to a one?" I then may identify my needs as "I need to leave my other jobs for tomorrow and relax and drink a cup of herbal tea." This simple technique can be effective in becoming more aware of your mental state and take control of your stress levels.
4. Use grounding techniques
In times of big emotions, it can be helpful to find different ways to ground yourself in the present moment. For example, it may help you to look at photos of happy memories, find certain smells that calm you or listen to music. Using affirmations may be a supportive way to ground yourself. For example, you could try telling yourself, "I am safe. I am strong and capable. I am doing my best whilst growing my baby". Try anything that soothes you and brings you into the present moment.
4. Take breaks
Don't be afraid to take breaks when you are feeling emotionally overheated. Try to create a safe space for yourself, whether on your bed, in the bathroom or your car; find a quiet area where you can retreat. Take some time out to be alone; practice your breathing exercises or do something else that relaxes you, such as listening to an audiobook, playing a puzzle or drinking a cup of herbal tea.
5. Communicate your needs ahead of time
When pregnant, a lot of our stresses can involve the people around us. If you have a partner, then this will often include them. Let them know what you need in these moments. Examples might consist of, what words do you find helpful when you are feeling very upset? You could communicate ahead of time that you may need to cry more than usual and what you would find helpful in those moments. You may also need to express your need to take some time away from difficult conversations and let them know that you will return when you are ready.
6. Remind yourself that emotions will pass
No emotions last forever. However intense the feeling is at the time, this will go away again. Try not to suppress your feelings. If you are angry, then try hitting a pillow or finding a safe space to shout. If you need to cry, then cry! Suppressing emotions only means that we tend to hold on to that feeling for longer. So let it out; you will feel okay again.
7. Delegate responsibilities
Pregnancy can be so hard. So often, we can pressure ourselves to do all the things. Keep up at work, create a beautiful home, keep seeing friends. Do whatever you can to delegate responsibilities. If you are financially able, then perhaps hire a cleaner. Or accept support from friends or family. And maybe your employer wouldn't thank me for saying this, but try not to beat yourself up if you put in much less effort at work. It is near impossible to maintain high standards in all areas of your life. Do what it takes to reduce your stress levels. You are growing a human; you deserve all the support that you can get.
9. Avoid big decisions
I have a rule when I am running, I will never make any decisions about changing my route or length of run whilst I am at a tough part of the run where I might be struggling. If I make a decision when finding things hard, it is likely to be biased and negative. The same goes for decision making when you are emotionally struggling. Try to wait until you feel calmer or more level headed before deciding on anything that will impact your future.
10. Get support
Big emotions are normal. Let's normalise them by talking to each other about them. Don't be afraid to reach out to someone who can help you during difficult times. Let someone else give you the kindness and compassion you deserve. Also, therapy is available either via the NHS or privately. Being pregnant and becoming a mother is a time of enormous transition; It deserves the space to process all of these changes and get support.
If you are pregnant and looking for professional support, check out my website link for more information. Then, if interested in pursuing therapy, you can e-mail me at info@sophieharris.co to check my availability. Alternatively, stay in touch on Instagram for more pregnancy and postpartum support.